The Cost of This Job
by fireball13
Summary: How far would Deeks and Kensi go for a successful operation? Is this job worth the sacrifices they have to make?
1. Chapter 1

How far would you go to get the job done?

This was never a question for Marty Deeks. He would always get into the skin of the role he had to play, in order to solve a case.

It didn't matter if he had to be a homeless man, a geek, or a scumbag. He would always be believable because it was his job.

So, he didn't hesitate when he was approached for a new case.

Everyone had been working on this one for over six months. After the CIA and the FBI had come up with nothing, it was their turn to get their hands dirty and succeed where all others had failed.

Bombs had been planted on several military bases over the last year and a half, and the ones responsible for each bombing had turned up dead only a few hours later. They weren't kamikaze-like hits, however. Each body turned up with a single kill-shot through their skull. The only connection they had with each other was they were linked to the military or to the police force. It was a group that ranged from angry, former Marines, to loser drop-outs and candidates that just failed to get accepted.

Another lead that had been found were a string of rapes that occurred a day before each hit. Although all the victims survived, each woman was left with severe injuries and psychological trauma. According to the facts that they managed to gather, there were at least thirteen women. Only four had reported their assaults, and identified their rapists.

Each report had been similar to the last. The women claimed that it had been an initiation for their attacker. Two men had kidnapped them, and brought each of them in a different abandoned house. The two men had distinct roles as well. One had acted like the leader, while the "bomber to be" followed his instructions. But the so-called leader didn't seem to be in charge of the entire operation. It appeared that his frequent phone calls were him receiving instructions himself, from the man who really was their boss.

The NCIS team had followed the links, and threw Deeks on the streets to pose as, well, himself. Martin Deeks, an abusive LA Police Officer who got fired after he threw himself too deep undercover, and managed to get addicted to drugs and alcohol.

For the last six months he hadn't met with the rest of the team, and the only communication he had with them was through a secure line. They couldn't risk blowing all of their covers, and Director Vance had been supervising the case very closely since the beginning. He wanted results. He wanted to solve the case at all costs, especially because the big wigs in the White House were putting pressure on him, and as a result he put pressure on Hetty. The government, of course, didn't want the fact that the bombings were all inside hits to reach the public, so they blamed unknown terrorists.

Month after month had gone by, and no progress had been made. In the meantime, four more police stations had been hit and the team were starting to feel disappointed in the fact that they may very well on a rainy, Monday morning, Deeks' phone rang. They had finally spotted him on their radar as a loser ex-cop, and wanted him in. The voice at the other end of the line was firm, calm, and trying to play mind games with Deeks. It must have been the main man they were looking for. He promised a whole lot of money, and revenge against the LA Police.

Deeks played hard-to-get in the beginning, staying true to character by hanging up the phone at first. However, he eventually agreed to a meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

Deeks couldn't leave the house or meet anyone involved with the case for fear of being compromised. Six months away from the team had turned out to be harder than he thought it would be. He talked to them through the secure line whenever possible, but it wasn't quite the same.

He also didn't want to admit that he found himself missing Kensi in particular. He had never been away from her for this long, so every morning he looked forward to her call. It had become their routine for her to call every day, at 8 in the morning. They would spend the majority of the time talking about the case, but eventually the topic turned to things they've read in the newspaper and general gossip.

But this morning was not like the others. They had no time to gossip or chit chat; it was all about the case. A problem had arisen when they realized that Deeks would be searched immediately, so that left out the option of wearing a wire. They settled for an ear piece, allowing him to hear his team, and Callen who would be waiting outside with Sam, both watching his back.

The only thing left to arrange was Kensi's part in the operation. The obvious solution was for her to pose as the rape victim. All the other women were abducted from right outside their homes, so all she had to do was be outside at the right time. Furthermore, their rape didn't take place in front of the other men, but in a more private setting. This allowed Deeks to take Kensi in a room and pretend to complete the initiation, without the others ever realizing the truth.

Vance approved the operation, and decided to stay with Hetty, Eric, and Nell to observe their progress. While Callen and Sam were getting ready, Deeks began to have second thoughts and asked to speak with Kensi in private. The others respected his wishes, and gave the two some time alone.

"Kens, if you're not sure about this, you can walk away right now," he told her.

"Deeks, this is our only chance of ending this. These are the only people who can lead us the main guy, and I'm not backing out now. Besides, I'm more worried about you. You're the one whose going to be unarmed in a room full of killers."

"Kens, you'd be unarmed too, and if something goes wrong," he paused and added softly, "I'm not sure if I can protect you." He didn't even want to imagine that scenario.

"I'm the one who's gonna be there to protect you, remember? Besides I'll be wearing this mic, a camera _and _an ear piece. Plus, Callen and Sam will only be just a distress word away," she said, smiling.

That smile only made it harder for him to want to push through with the plan. He couldn't describe how much he had missed her. Just the sound of her laugh made him want to close his eyes and picture her with him, away from this whole mess.

Their time ended when Vance walked in the room and ordered for Kensi to get prepared. Deeks still had a bad feeling about this op, and a knot in his stomach that wouldn't go away.

It was 2300, and everything was rolling along as planned. A car had come by Deeks' house, picked him up, and drove him to a remote area where a deserted house loomed. Sam, Kensi, and G followed cautiously.

Deeks entered the house to find himself faced with a tall, muscular man. The two that had brought him were also tall and well built. If they weren't Marines, they could have easily been bodyguards.

The leader was sitting on a couch, talking on the phone. As soon as Deeks walked in, he turned on the speaker and placed it on the coffee table in front of him.

"Sit," he ordered, motioning for the two guards to stand by the door.

"Who're you? You're not the one I talked on the phone with. And where's the money he promised?" Deeks asked, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to appear nervous and on edge.

"That's too many questions, Officer Deeks."

"Ex-officer, they kicked me out."

"I know. This is why we're giving you a chance to get revenge against them. My boss will keep his end of the deal, as long as you keep yours too."

"And what deal would that be? He talked about revenge, and lots of money, but he never really explained what I'd have to do."

"You get to bomb your former police department. Is that good enough for you?"

Deeks smiled evilly, pretending to like the sound of that idea. "I get to kill all of those who dragged me into Hell, _and_ I get paid?"

"I read your file, Officer Deeks, and it's a remarkable one. Dozens of successful undercover operations, and how did they reward you? They throw you out after one, little mistake."

"I was there, you don't have to remind me. Just tell me, what do I have to do?"

In the car G, Sam and Kensi were listening in carefully.

"Thank God Eric and Nell planted all of those fake police files," G said.

"This son of a bitch has access to the police files? This means he's a cop or he has someone working on the inside for him," Sam continued.

They were suddenly interrupted by Vance. "They've been in there a long time. Agent Blye? I think it's time for you to take a walk."

Kensi let out a deep breath, looked at G and Sam for reassurance, and stepped out of the car. She had chosen to wear a long, sun dress with a deep cut in the front rather than something overly slutty.

Back in the house, Deeks was sitting nervously on the couch while the leader was waiting for "the show" to begin. He had been going on and on about how corrupted the police and military were, and how they needed someone to teach them a lesson.

Deeks, in character, agreed and started pacing up and down the house in an effort to appear psyched out. That was when a light cough was heard from the speaker. The leader, who appeared to be expecting this, picked up the phone and motioned for the two guards to leave.

Deeks knew that it was happening. He could feel in his gut that the time had come, and that the two men were heading out to grab the girl.

"Where are they going?" he asked.

"To get a little treat for you, my friend. If you eat the little cherry they bring you, we seal the deal. I have to make sure you're not an undercover cop. If you are who your files say you are, you won't have any problem," he said calmly, lighting up a cigar.

Deeks smiled, and sat on a chair, waiting eagerly for his treat. Since his fake files stated that he was accused of assaulting women on several different occasions, he had to play it rough and edgy.

Kensi was walking outside the house for the second time, hoping they hadn't noticed that she was practically doing laps right under their noses. Just as she was a few feet away from the door, the two massive guards stepped out.

The team had made sure that no one else would pass through that particular road, so that Kensi would be the only obvious victim. She kept on walking, but she could feel their eyes penetrating her like needles.

"Okay, Kens, they're on to you. Keep on walking, and don't forget we're right here," G said, trying to sound relaxed.

Kensi placed her hair behind her ear as a way to show that she had heard them. Before she could take another step, she felt two hands on her body. One was wrapped her mouth, and the other was dragging her into the house. Her instincts told her to fight back, but she let them take her without a struggle.

"I'm not sure I like this," Sam told G.

"I know," he agreed, "I have the same feeling."


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks was nervously pacing back and forth. He knew that in any minute the two guards would walk in with Kensi, and he wasn't really looking forward to that.

Suddenly the door opened, and Kensi was violently pushed inside the house. She tripped and almost fell but Deeks was there to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Meet your cherry pie," the leader told him, pointing at her.

Deeks, in character, smirked and began to walk circles around Kensi. He looked her up and down, checking her out, and smelled her hair.

"How did you know I have a thing for brunettes?" He asked, licking her earlobe.

Kensi simply stood there, trembling in fear. Deeks couldn't tell if it was all an act or if she was actually scared.

"You have thirty minutes to please yourself, Officer," the leader stated firmly. He turned to look at Kensi as he added, "The quieter you are, the sooner we let you go honey. So do yourself a favor and try to enjoy this."

Just the sound of those words made Deeks feel sick to his stomach. He wanted to kill the other man with his bare hands, but instead he grabbed Kensi's arm and looked at the only visible door of the house.

"Is that the bedroom?"

The man smiled. "This is a small house with no bedrooms. You'll just have to make yourself comfortable right here." He rested back on the couch to enjoy the scene. "The table right there should do the job just fine."

Everyone froze at the sound of that. Especially Deeks and Kensi. If they blew their cover now, they would never get to the boss. They needed to somehow get out of this situation, and fast.

"I'm sorry but I don't perform well in front of an audience," Deeks said in hopes of being led somewhere more private.

"What you see is what you get, Officer. Get down to business so that we can move onto ours," the leader said firmly, on the edge of losing his patience.

Deeks pushed Kensi against the wall, and looked deep into her eyes. This wasn't Agent Blye pretending to look scared. This was Kensi actually scared for the first time since he had met her. Even when she was locked in the room with the bomb, she knew they were going to get out of it.

Before anyone could say anything, Vance spoke up.

"Agent Blye, I don't mean to put any pressure on you but remember that this is the closest anyone has ever gotten to the Boss. This is our only chance of bring him, and this whole operation, down. If you back out now, we'll lose the trail and these three guys sure as Hell won't rat on him or make a deal. If you blow your cover, it would be the two of you unarmed against these three monsters. I can't promise Callen and Hanna will get there in time to prevent any casualties."

Hetty couldn't believe her ears. How could he ask her agents to do something like that?

Callen could no longer sit in since, and tried to reassure Kensi.

"This is all a bunch of crap. Just say the distress code, Kensi, and we'll be right there."

Vance, however, was not willing to give up on this operation so easily.

"Agent Blye, I am only asking you two to do your jobs. I wouldn't be asking this if it were anyone else, and may I remind you that this is a matter of National Security?"

At the sound of that, both Deeks and Kensi closed their eyes. Deeks knew that once Vance hit the National Security nerve that Kensi wouldn't back down.

Everyone was anxiously waiting for Kensi's reaction. Deeks looked at her, nodding his head in a silent plea for her to use the distress code. He didn't want to go along with this. He hated Vance for what he had said. Under any other circumstance he wouldn't have hesitated to hit the other man for suggesting something like this.

"So, is this your idea of not putting them under pressure, Director Vance?" Callen snapped.

Vance didn't answer, as they all continued to wait for Kensi's response.

Deeks couldn't take his eyes off of her, still quietly begging for her to put a stop to this. The camera on her earring focused on his face, so when the rest of the team saw the disappointment in his eyes, they all understood. She was going to along with this.

Hetty, no longer able to be a witness to this, left the room.

"It seems like you have everything under control, Director," she said sarcastically as she walked out.

Eric and Nell had doubts on whether they should stay in the room, knowing what was going to happen. They looked at each other, swallowed hard, and decided to toughen up and carry on with their job. They had to be prepared in case Deeks and Kensi needed them.

Meanwhile, the leader was starting to lose his patience. For over two minutes he watched the awkward silence fall between his assigned hunter and prey.

"What's the matter, Officer? Your foreplay is taking too long, and I don't have all night," he said, looking at his watch.

"I like to play with my prey! If you had given me some privacy, I might have hurried things a bit," Deeks replied angrily.

The other man smiled and laid back again, ordering his two guards to sit down.

Deeks started to violently kiss Kensi's neck, and she found the opportunity to whisper in his ear, "Don't worry about me. Just play your part."

He knew by the trembling in her voice that she didn't actually mean that, and it killed him. He could blow this operation right now to save her from what was to come, but she would hate him for it. She would never forgive him or herself if an op as big as this failed because of her.

He once again looked in her eyes to show his discomfort but she looked away. Deep down inside she knew that Deeks didn't want to go through with this either but it was their only chance to get out of there alive, and still be able to bring down the Boss.

He grabbed her arm and threw her on the table. Although his kisses seemed violet and rough, he desperately tried to be as gentle as possible. His lips moved down her neck where he could actually feel her pulse. Her heart was pounding like crazy. He placed one hand on her cheek and caressed it as the other slowly moved down to her breasts. He could feel her trembling under his touch, and he knew it wasn't an act. He felt like a thousand daggers pierced his hear as he watched her so helpless, scared and exposed.

It was their first most intimate moment, and it was one that none of them would want to remember


	4. Chapter 4

The leader and the two gorillas were sitting on the couch across the room. Deeks was really concerned about about them. What if they suddenly decide to get a taste of Kensi themselves. The previous victims hadn't reported multiple rapings, but they were kept in a private room. This was the first time they they changed their routine. Maybe they didn't quite trust him and needed proof he was a real bad guy.

Kens was lying on the table, her feet barely touching the floor. She hadn't spoken a word since the leader promised to let her go if she behaved. All the women that reported the rapes were left alive, but what if there are dead women that they don't know of? So, she decided to play quiet and go along with everything that was asked of her until it was over. She knew though deep inside that it hadn't even began yet.

Deeks kept trailing kisses form her mouth down to her breasts over the thick fabric of her dress. He did his best to make them look rough but not hurt her in any way. Kensi was barely breathing. She was lying stiff and not even looking at Deeks turning her head away form his gaze. She knew that this was as hard for him as it was for her but she couldn't face him right now.

That was when Deeks remembered the camera on her earing. All the team, including Vance were watching his every move right now, every expression on his face and he hated it. So, with one single move he turned Kensi around so that she was facing the table instead of him. Maybe this would make it easier, not seeing the distress in her eyes. But of course it wasn't.

Suddenly it hit him. A plan to make it out of this situation without anyone noticing. He pulled Kensi up and with one hand he grabbed her neck while the other slipped inside her dress and caressed her breast. He tried to make as believable as possible not exposing Kensi in the process at all. She let out a soft discomfort sigh as he touched her and tried to pull away.

"Easy there wild cat, the more quiet you are the fastest this will be over and you' ll get to go home one peace," he told her as he bit her neck to show his dominance to the leader who was still on the couch observing pleasantly.

Deeks threw her once again on the table, and laid on top her her as he softly whispered in her ear "Don't worry, I would never hurt you. Just follow my lead,"

Kensi had no idea what that meant but she trusted this man with her life. He had many opportunities to exploit awkward sexy situations with her, but he was always a gentleman.

He pulled down the straps from her dress, enough to show skin but not expose any more intimate body parts.

He grabbed her hands and spread them on the table as he lowered himself on her. Her nails almost carved the wooden table as he pulled her dress up to the level of her waist.

This was actually happening. What if he didn't have a plan and those words were just his way of trying to calm her down. No matter what, she only accepted to play along because of Deeks. She would never go this far for a case with anyone else.

He kissed her back biting her in the meantime when he suddenly tore her underwear. Kensi didn't expect this and instinctive tried to fight back only to find Deeks weight crash on her.

She was starting to have second thoughts about this. Was this job worth this kind of sacrifice? Of course it was Deeks and not some kind of stranger, but still. For the first time since she became an agent she hated her job and herself. She posed as a victim or a femme fatale too many times in her life, but THIS was never asked of her. If she screwed this operation up though it would have consequences on the whole team.

Deeks started unbuttoning his pants and that's when it hit her. All hope was gone and there was no way out. It was really happening for all the team and the bad guys to see. She tried to remain calm but her hands gave her away. She was holding the table so hard her nails left marks on it.

Deeks took his pants and briefs down approached Kensi and hid the area with her dress which turned out to be the perfect cover.

She was ready to feel his erection because he was a man after all and she wouldn't blame him. To her surprise though, she felt nothing. Deeks barely touched her as he once again licked her ear and whispered "Please, just go along with it."

He pretended to thrust into her and moaned in pleasure. It took a few seconds for Kensi to comprehend what was happening and to her relief she finally understood Deek's plan. It was all make believe. He did all the thrusting and moaning in pleasure, she did all the screaming and crying and no one would understand. Her dress kept covering them which made it a whole easier.

Callen could no longer hear what was taking place and took his ear peace off.

"I know it is hard G but we must keep listening," Sam tried to comfort him. "What if she she finally uses the distress word and we are not here to hear it."

G threw his peace on the floor "There is no way she is going to say anything. She is a professional and the Director threw the National Security card. I can't stand to watch or hear man."

Unfortunately everyone knew this was true. Even Eric and Nell back at the Ops, threw away their ear peaces too. Vance of course did not approve of this but understood their discomfort and waited patiently for the end of this.


	5. Chapter 5

Ten endless minutes had gone by and Sam was running out of patience.

Deeks' moans were too realistic which made Sam's stomach sick in combination with Kensi's pleas to him to stop. His fists had turned into stone and could barely manage his anger anymore.

G on the other hand, couldn't even look at the screen let alone listen to them. He was looking outside the car window holding his head imagining every possible way he could beat the crap out of Vance for authorizing this mission.

A small part him was also mad at Deeks for playing along. How could this man, who is willing to risk his life for Kensi any given day, agree to hurt her this much? This wasn't right, it didn't make sense at all and as much as they all teased Deeks about it, they all knew he truly loved her. There was no way he would ever intentionally hurt her. G sighed, bit his lip and prayed this mission will have the least negative impact on all of them.

Nell herself could no longer witness the rape so she stormed out of the room trying her best to hold back her tears. No matter how tough Kensi was, she was still a woman and a rape was the worst thing anyone could experience.

For the first time Eric lost his patience and glared at Vance.

"Is it worth it? Is it worth the toll it has on all of us?" he asked him turning off the volume of the video.

"It comes with the job," Vance responded. "When they became agents they made a choice. Their job is above themselves."

"That doesn't mean losing themselves along the way," Eric snapped back as he turned the volume back on to make his point.

Vance knew he was wrong but he was always a diplomat and pleasing his superiors was his first priority. In this case though, he even surprised himself at far he would pull his strings.

Everyone refused to speak a word. Eric had said all he wanted to say, Hetty and Nell had walked out of the room and G with Sam also spoke nothing. This silent treatment was psychological and the worst for Vance, but he knew he deserved it.

Hetty was sitting alone in her having barely touched her cup of tea. She would never forgive herself for letting her agents be exposed in such a way. Once again she wanted to quit but knew she had to be there for Kensi when she got back and wished that Nate would be there to help her in the process.


	6. Chapter 6

Another fifteen minutes had gone by and Deeks tried his best to make this rape believable. His was on for round three and so far, he had licked her; bit her in every possible way as he thrust into her violently. That's when the one thing he tried to avoid just happened, he had an erection.

Kensi shockingly felt his hardness and without thinking about it tried to pull away from his grip. Of course, he would be aroused by this situation, in fact, it surprised her it took him this long but the longer she tried to remain calm, the more difficult it got.

As Deeks accidentally touched her again she flinched back, only to be grabbed even tighter by him.

"I said don't move bitch," he growled at her as he then turned her over so that she was facing him now.

He hated every time his hands made contact with her skin, he hated seeing her like this, and he hated himself.

She knew this man in front of her wasn't her partner talking and she knew he was risking both their lives and this mission by playing this theater.

However, she couldn't take this anymore. They had posed as couple far too many times but it never got this far. They hadn't even shared a descent kiss, but after tonight she wasn't sure, she was ever going to be comfortable around him anymore. It wasn't his fault of course, just her broken self-esteem.

Deeks spotted the two gorillas with the corner of his eyes. Their perverted look on their faces made their dirty thoughts absolutely clear. The leader on the other hand was smiling evilly and joked about Deeks performance.

Deeks trailed kisses form Kensi's ear over her half naked breasts and down to her belly. He couldn't feel her breath but he could hear her heart pounding as if it was about to burst.

He tried to kiss Kensi's lips but they were sealed, so he landed on her breasts instead. He removed her straps further down her shoulders exposing her breast only to him, as the others had no clear view. With one hand, he cupped her right one while licking and biting the other.

After he was through with the teasing, he pulled her form her waist closer to him. Once again, she felt his erection and froze as he looked at him for the first time in fear. He tried to lighten the atmosphere by making a joke, though he knew it was meaningless.

"Still haven't got used to my size sunshine?" he said winking his eye at her to let her know the real Deeks hadn't left her.

With subtle moves, he covered her breasts again and using her dress once again as a cover round three began.

Only a few seconds later he decided it was time to end this. A few thrusts, a loud moan a he collapsed on top of Kensi. She closed her eyes relieved that this nightmare was finally over but couldn't find the strength to, even get up.

Deeks put his trousers back on and forcefully pulled Kensi up to kiss her forcefully. She always wondered what his kiss tasted like, as the only one they had shared was hardly a kiss, but this was not at all, what she expected. He forced his tongue into her mouth and kissed her so hard he actually cut her lip as she pushed him away and punched him in the stomach.

The gorillas burst into laughter as the leader approached Deeks was holding his stomach in pain.

"Been beaten by a girl huh? Maybe you are not the man for this job after all," he said as he pounded Deek's back.

He got up gave Kensi an apologetic look and hit her so hard in the face she landed on the floor. She tried to get up but the leader grabbed her hair and smacked her head hard on the table.

Deeks froze as he saw the bleeding Kensi falling unconscious on the ground. Before he could even make a move Vance was ordering him through his ear peace to stay put.

This had gone way, too far and was putting Kensi's life into serious danger. Then the leader turned to Deeks once again.

"Ok. Maybe you are my man after all. Make sure you live up to your expectations."

Deeks couldn't take his eyes off Kensi and when he saw the gorillas bringing gasoline and spilling it all over the house, code red started ringing in his head.

"I thought you said we were going to let her go after this," he told the leader.

"I am letting her go. She is not tied up or anything. Now, if she is burnt that would be her fault. Besides, I think I've left too many witnesses alive and it's time to start cleaning up."

He took out another cigar, lit it and threw the match on the wet floor. The house immediately caught fire around Kensi who was still lying down, as the four of them left through the back door.


	7. Chapter 7

After the hard part of the mission was over, Callen put his earpiece back on, only to witness once again the violent actions against Kensi.

Once they saw her landing on the floor, they immediately loaded their guns and got ready to barge into the house. They heard Deeks leaving through the back door along with the others, but they saw something else too.

One of the gorillas stayed a bit behind them, approached Kensi and kicked her violently several times. He then lowered himself and whispered in her ear, "Burn little bitch." and ran towards the exit as the flames went higher.

That was the final drop. G and Sam stormed out of the car and as they reached the front door noticed that the fire had spread quickly all over the house and Kensi was lying in the middle of all it.

"Eric call an ambulance," G yelled.

"They are already on their way and should be there within a couple of minutes," Eric answered as he nervously stood up.

Just then, Nell walked back into the room hoping that the mission would be over, only to find her hopes dashed.

"What happened?" she asked shocked by what was taking place in front of the screen.

"Everything is under control," Vance answered trying not to panic anyone.

"They beat her and left her burn alive, but other than that everything is under control," Hetty said sarcastically as she entered the room.

Of course, she had been supervising this mission all along. This was Hetty, she knew everything even though she was not present and it was time to take back control of her team.

Sam kicked the door open and covered his face as the flames jumped out. He pushed Callen back to protect him told him to stay out as he quickly made his way towards Kensi. Debris started falling all around, as this was obviously a really old house. He fell on top of Kensi to keep her safe as apiece of the ceiling collapsed and almost crashed them both.

Callen could no longer sit and wait so; he took his shirt off soaked it in a little fountain near by and carefully walked over to Sam. Once he reached them, he helped him hold Kensi in his arms and placed the wet cloth on her face.

Just as they got out the burning building, the ambulance arrived. Sam slowly laid Kensi down and let the paramedic do their job. They both coughed heavily from all the smoke they had inhaled but refused any oxygen.

Instead, they were standing next to Kensi praying that she would open her eyes any minute now. The paramedics tried to stop her bleeding and noticed the large bruise that was starting to form on her forehead and below her left eye where Deeks had hit her.

When the paramedics were informed about the kicks on her, they tore the dress at the level of her belly and revealed a huge hematoma, evidence of internal bleeding.

"We need to get her to the hospital right now," one of the paramedics, told G and Sam while in the meantime the others supplied Kensi with oxygen and stabilized her neck.

"Is she going to be alright?" Sam asked.

"She has minor burns, a serious concussion, internal bleeding and a fractured rib that has probably punctured her lung, but we are going to do our best. You can follow us to the hospital if you wish."

G and Sam went speechless at the sound of those words. How did they let this happen?

"Mr. Callen," Hetty said, "please escort Miss Blye to the hospital and I shall meet you there. We can't do anything about Mr. Deeks now anyway, not until he makes contact with us."

G agreed and watched as they wheeled Kensi into the ambulance. From the minute, they took her out of that house she hadn't shown any sign of awareness or moved an inch. He looked at her and prayed this would be the first and also the last time he had to witness her so fragile and helpless.

Deeks left the building with the impression that all she might have had was a mild concussion. He never saw what followed and as much angry as Callen was with him right now, he feared his reaction when he found out about her condition.


	8. Chapter 8

Deeks was brought to an abandoned warehouse only a few blocks away from his police department. They provided him a bed for the night so that he could rest and got ready for tomorrow's hit.

One of the gorillas was ordered to guard him, which made it impossible for him to make contact with his team.

He could hardy rest, let alone sleep with his mind constantly on Kensi. If he had known what that man sitting right opposite him had done to Kensi, there was no doubt he would have killed him by now. However, he was living in the darkness for the time being.

Deeks was certain that G and Sam had gotten Kensi out of that burning house in time, though he wasn't sure how serious her head injury was. 'Was it just a concussion or something more severe? How hard did he slap her? Could she ever face him again after all the things he did to her?'

He was surprised though when he realized that he wasn't sure either if HE could face her again. How could he joke about his sex dreams he has with her? How could he touch her again without resenting the feeling. How long will it take them to turn back to normal? Will things ever be the same again? Is she going to ask for another partner? Is she going to quit not being able to handle the cost of this job anymore?

The speed of his thoughts were driving him crazy. He didn't know of course that there was a slight possibility Kensi wouldn't make it through the night to answer him all these questions. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to focus on his mission.

His phone was removed from him for security reasons...how ironic! They still didn't trust him but he needed to get as much information as he could to lead them to the boss. This would be extremely hard considering the fact that the gorilla was in no mood to chitchat. He just stood silent across the room watching Deek's every single move.

Deeks hoped Eric and Nell had run a facial recognition on the three of them and a possible match by now. Fingerprints were out of the question since the fire must have destroyed all possible evidence.

How could these men stay under the radar for so long? Obviously, they are not invisible and this was the closer anyone had ever gotten to them.

The team knew that his police department was the target so they would be alert and probably warned everyone at the station. The only problem was how he was going to get to the boss. They were surely planning to kill him after the hit, just like the others so he didn't have much time.

He pretended to sleep hoping someone would call the gorilla and he could overhear their discussion.

As soon as the ambulance reached the hospital, they immediately took Kensi in the OR. The paramedics couldn't give any more details of her condition and neither did the doctors. At least not until the surgery was over.

G paced nervously up and down the waiting room for the last 2 hours as Sam sat silently on a chair. A couple of minutes later Hetty arrived alone. Vance had stayed at the ops along with Eric and Nell to supervise the progress of this case. Facial recognition from Kensi's hidden camera had brought no results so they had to check every piece of evidence that was gathered from the house.

"Have any of the doctors come out yet?" she silently asked.

"No! Did you have any news from Deeks?" G asked.

"No!" she said trying to hide her disappointment.

"What took you so long?" Sam asked her almost like criticizing her.

"One of my agents is in the hospital and another is missing Mr. Hanna. I had some serious explaining to do to my superiors."

"They should get Vance to do the explaining," G said as he finally sat down on a chair.

"I will leave that to Ms Blye and Mr. Deeks handle director Vance. I think they both deserve to have a couple of words with him," Hetty said with a smirk that was half-evil half bitter.

Before Hetty had, the time to sit down too, one doctor approached them.

"Are you Ms Bowman's family?" he asked.

"Hetty stood up, "Yes, I am her mother."

"Your daughter, Mrs. Bowman has suffered a severe head trauma and has a dangerous swelling on her brain. Her rib was broken, and unfortunately penetrated her heart. She went into cardiac arrest but we managed to stabilize her for the time being. We are keeping her in an induced coma for the next few hours to deal with the swelling. There were also some minor burns, nothing that won't go away in time. Worst case scenario they leave a mark."

All three listened carefully to the doctor and couldn't believe the severity of the situation.

"Can we see her?" G asked.

"I am afraid not yet. We are transferring her to the ICU right now. A nurse will come and take you to her when she is ready."

They thanked him and sat down again each one dealing with the bad news deep inside.

"How will we contact Deeks? He must find out sooner or later," Sam said.

"I'd rather it be later. He had to concentrate on his mission right now. One simple mistake and this can turn even uglier," Hetty replied as she stepped up and walked out of the waiting room door.

"How do you think he is going to react?" Sam asked G.

"I don't know. He SHOULD feel guilty as he played his little part in all this," G said angrily.

"You are not being fair man. They both followed orders, they both played their parts despite the outcome," Sam defended Deeks "In this case there was no right choice. No matter what choices they made, it came with consequences. Who knows, maybe we would be waiting at the morgue right now if they chosen to be compromised. "

G looked at him angrily. Deep down he knew that Sam was probably right but he had to put the blame on someone.

"Let it go G. If it is someone's fault, that would be the three bastards and their boss. That's where you need to focus"

G just nodded and started pacing the room again as they waited for the nurse to come.


	9. Chapter 9

Deeks was unable to sleep and spent all night haunted by his own thoughts. Being left in the dark was one of the worst feelings he had experienced.

Somewhere around 6 am, the gorillas changed shifts. This one was not very talkative either and the only info he was able to distract from him was that the hit would take place in an hour. At that time, most cops would be at the department being assigned duties, so they were aiming for maximum victims.

Ac couple of minutes later he went to use the, not so hygienic, bathroom. He hadn't used it for over twelve hours and he was about to burst. Of course, the gorilla camped outside the door to guard him. It was a filthy little bathroom that barely had enough room for one person to move around. The only light that made its way in was through the half-broken window above the toilet.

Before he could unzip his pants, he heard voices from outside. He stepped on the toilet, hoping he wouldn't have an unfortunate accident and tried to take a look outside. Deeks was on the second floor of the building and could clearly see the parking lot of the warehouse.

The leader was waiting just outside his car for his little minion.

"Did he behave?" he asked him.

The gorilla nodded, "Yes, he was obviously nervous but avoided asking too many questions, just like the others."

"Good," the leader said as he lit a cigar, "Give him the fake bomb tell him to plant it in the cafeteria. You leave the right one at the lobby. When you see him approaching, trigger it. If the explosion doesn't kill him we will later."

He exhaled a large amount of smoke and continued, "Once this is over we three are moving to another city, Chicago perhaps."

"Don't misunderstand me boss, I love chaos but when will this be over for you? What do you get out of all this?"

The leader dropped his cigar and stepped on it. "When the government admits that they are all corrupted. Police, military, all of them. I don't expect you to understand me, so just do your job, unless you want to end up like them."

The gorilla looked down and walked away like a scared dog. That was when Deeks realized it. There was no other Boss behind this, it was all a myth the leader WAS the boss and he was hiding right in plain sight. Before he could gather his thoughts all together the other gorilla started knocking on his door.

"How long does it take you to pee? If you don't come out in ten seconds, I am busting the door. Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five..."

Just the Deeks came out, "you might wanna use some air freshener in there, I think I had some bad Chinese for dinner," he said holding his nose.

"Are you sure you can do this Blondie or do you want your morning shot of whiskey?"

Deeks nodded, "I would kill for any kind of shot right now, but I think I am going to settle with the bomb. There is no better way to start your day other than delayed revenge. I want to watch them all suffer, like I suffered after they kicked me out. I wanna play baseball using their amputated arms as bats and their heads as balls. I wanna feed their hearts to the dogs. I wanna see them all die."

Deeks put on extreme efforts not to laugh at the sound of his own words. This level of acting should be at least nominated for an Oscar award.

When the other gorilla came back in, they gave Deeks the fake bomb and told him exactly what he had heard, to place it in the cafeteria without drawing any attention.

Now that he knew, there was no Boss he had enough evidence to arrest all three of them. However, he was unarmed and without any backup at the time so he had to go along with the plan. Everyone at the station was warned and Callen with Sam would definitely be there watching him. All he had to do was signal them there was no boss and successfully put this mission to an end.

G and Sam left the hospital to get prepared. Kensi was still kept in a coma so spending the night next to her was pointless. They headed to the police station and staged the scene to make it look like an ordinary morning at the police department. Everyone knew Deeks was working under cover and they were ordered to watch carefully, his every move and signals.

Eric and Nell spent all night running the faces in every global database but came empty handed. Then Nell came with an idea. What if they had, had plastic surgery? That would explain why they couldn't find any info on them. Nobody can hide from the big brother unless he had reinvented himself.

This was good and bad news at the same time because they would never find who they really were unless they arrested them.

Sam posed as a guard at the lobby of the station while G headed to the cafeteria and posed as a barista. They had an earpiece set ready to give to Deeks at the first opportunity they had. All they had to do was accidentally bump into him.

Deeks held the briefcase with the fake bomb and walked towards the building. The leader was watching him from his car; he was parked just around the corner. One of the gorillas was reading a newspaper holding the real bomb and the other had walked into the station before him.

As Deeks walked into the building he felt relieved to see Sam was there. This meant the beginning of the end had just begun.

He moves towards the cafeteria and spotted one of the gorillas sitting across the room holding a briefcase too. He walked to the bar and tried to act naturally by ordering a coffee. Callen served him the coffee, offered him a free large fortune cookie and pointed with his eyes the gorilla. Deeks just nodded, took the coffee and the cookie and sat on a table. His back was on the gorilla but fortunately, he was facing Callen. He looked around hoping he would spot Kensi among the crowd and was deeply disappointed there was no sign of her. He let out a deep breath and tried to keep his dark thoughts put his head. Hetty must have ordered her to stay home because of the head injury, nothing more.

He opened his fortune cookie to happily, find a mike and an ear set in it. He discreetly put them on and coughed to signal them he was ready.

"Deeks, if you can hear us take a sip," G told him.

Deeks took a small sip of his coffee and winked at G.

"Do you know where the Boss is?" H asked him.

Deeks took one more sip.

"Is he here?"

He took sip again.

"We know his accomplices are here along with the leader, so where is the boss?"

Deeks raised his up to take another sip and cover his mouth in case he was being watched and said, "The leader IS the boss."

G opened his eyes wide open and looked at him, "are you sure?"

"Positive," he replied firmly.

"The bomb they gave me is a fake one. Both gorillas are holding a briefcase and I don't know which one has the real one. Maybe it's both."

"Ok, don't panic. The bomb squad are already here, all floors have been evacuated, and the best of our agents and police officers are here right now. We will make this work!"

Deeks gave him a confident smile and nodded "Let the games begin."


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone was ready to take action.

Deeks would leave the bomb in the cafeteria as planned and lure the leader after him, whilst Callen and the rest of the team would handle the two gorillas and the bombs.

Just as the gorilla that was standing outside made a move to enter the building, Sam tackled him and Deeks took one last sip of coffee, walked out the building, and removed the suitcase from him. They did their best to keep it down so that the leader and the other gorilla in the cafeteria couldn't see what was going on. The bomb squad immediately took the briefcase and confirmed that it was empty. He was just a decoy to check if this was a set up. That meant that the real bomb was still in the cafeteria.

Deeks took one last sip of coffee, left the briefcase under the table and walked towards the exit as planned. The gorilla thankfully hadn't noticed the commotion in the lobby and carried on with their plan. He stood up taking the case with him and moved towards the lobby.

Meanwhile, Deeks was out of the building. He pretended to be nervous and started as fast as he could away from the alleged explosion. He spotted the leader with the corner of his eye following him with the car. Deeks of course knew the area too well and lured him in an alley where he was absolutely sure there was a camera for Hetty and the rest of the team at the Ops to watch.

Once he walked in the alley, he stopped to catch his breath. That's when he heard the car stopping right behind him.

The first gorilla was already in custody and it was time to take down Gorilla No2. They had to be extremely careful because there was always the possibility the bomb would be manually triggered.

Before he could walk out the building, G apprehended the case while Sam threw himself on him to drop him. This one though would not go down so easily. He immediately stood up and started punching Sam. He recognized him as the man who had hit Kensi and that gave Sam extra motive and energy to take the bastard down.

A couple hits in the face, stomach and groin and Sam was the victor. This was a fight he would under no circumstances lose.

After they cuffed him and the bomb squad successfully disarmed the bomb G and Sam ran to assist Deeks.

Eric led them to the alley Deeks was and after watching on screen the leader stepping out of the car, he told them to hurry.

"Mr. Callen remember we want the leader alive. We have to confirm there is no one else behind these hits," Hetty reminded them.

The leader stepped out of the car and started clapping.

"Congratulations officer, you did exactly what you were told," Deeks could sense a tone of irony in his voice.

"There is one little problem though. You see there was no explosion and my two assistants haven't checked in yet," he said as he took out his gun and pointed it at Deeks.

"Look man I just did what you told me. I am sure they will call you any minute now to tell you the bomb went off. Hell we are so close we will probably even hear it ourselves," Deeks tried to win some time as he raised his hands in defense.

"I can't risk leaving any witnesses behind. Goodbye officer," the leader said but before he had time to pull the trigger G shot him in the leg.

Deeks let out a deep breath relieved they had shown up just in time.

The leader was lying on the ground with a minor bleeding laughing hysterically.

"You can't stop me. You have nothing against me, you can't hold me."

"I am pretty sure we will match the bullets from your gun with those we found on the dead marines and officers. I don't know who you really are but you're going down," Deeks told him as he pushed him back on the ground.

"You are all so rotten. The whole system is rotten can't you see it? It was never leaked that officers' marines or seals were behind any attacks. You protect your own so well. I just wanted to make a point. Just how far you are willing to go, how many pieces of evidence are you willing to alter, how blind are going to be in order not to blame one of your own."

"And you were willing to kill hundreds of innocent people just to prove a false point?" Sam glared at him. All this time they thought, they were looking for lethal pubic enemy and it turned out to be someone with a grudge.

An ambulance came and picked him up but not before, they were able to take his fingerprints. It turned out his real name was Arthur Steward 35 years old. Six years ago, his fiancée was killed by a drunk driver who happened to be a marine. Because of his rank and the fact that he served in Afghanistan the case was buried deep and he was never punished or brought to trial.

After that, he desperately looked for revenge and planned his for 4 years. He had a facial makeover along with the two gorillas that he hired to avoid being recognized. Money was no issue to him since he came from a quite wealthy family. The rest is history. He used as bait all the former marines, cops etc, as he put the blame on them for the attack and if the blast from the explosions didn't kill them; he wanted to leave no witnesses behind. As long as they kept covering up the stories that military, people were behind the attacks he would keep on killing.

Finally, though this case was over and time for Deeks to face his own demons.


	11. Chapter 11

After Steward was arrested, Sam and Deeks were left alone in that alley.

"How's Ken...,"' before Deeks could finish the one question that kept haunting him Callen punched him hard on the stomach and then pressed him against the wall.

"How could you? How could you do this to her. The one time you should have opened your fucking mouth and said _no _and you just stood silent. How could you?" Callen yelled at him while pressing his elbow to his throat.

"I didn't," Deeks, whispered trying to pull himself out of his grip.

"You didn't? We all saw it Deeks, we all heard you and we all heard her crying. We saw her been beaten and raped by YOU. How could you?" G kept shouting.

Sam tried to pull G away from Deeks but he freed himself after shouting "I didn't Ok? I didn't."

G and Sam looked at him confused. Deeks held his throat and continued, "I didn't rape her. I would rather die than do it. Of all people you should have known better than accuse me of such thing."

G stepped back speechless. It suddenly all made sense now.

"But we heard you, I heard you," Sam said trying to understand.

"It was all a lie. I faked it and Kensi's dress did a damn good job covering for us."

Both G and Sam shook their heads and smiled a bit knowing now that it was all fake. But their smile faded cause they knew the question that was about to follow.

"How's Kensi guys? How mad is she at me?" he asked with the puppy look in his eyes.

G and Sam looked at each other, swallowed hard and avoided answering. Deeks immediately knew there was something wrong.

"Guys? Is Kensi alright?" he asked again his voice begging for a positive reply.

"Something happened after you walked out that house," G said, never looking directly into Deeks' eyes.

Deeks felt his heart slowing down, "what do you mean? What happened?"

"One of his helpers came back after you left and attacked Kensi"

Deeks' fists tightened. "What do you mean attacked?"

"He kicked her several times on her face but mostly on her abdomen. He broke her ribs, which penetrated her heart. She went into surgery, there were some complications but she made it and she is still fighting. They are keeping her in coma because that smack on her head was quite a heavy one and resulted swelling her brain. She has to remain this way until the swelling goes down and then they can evaluate the damage."

This information was just too much to handle. He never imagined things would turn out so badly. Worst-case scenario in his head, she would be waiting for him at the office angry as hell and with a big bump on her head.

He kept walking back and forth, his fingers running through his hair. How could this have happened?

"I need to see her now," he said.

"She is in a coma man. She probably won't even know you are there so don't you wanna go take a bath first, sleep for a couple of hours and then you can spend your day there." Sam tried to calm him down, "she is a fighter, she's been worse and when she wakes up you WILL be there."

Deeks had to make his mind. He smelled like rotten vegetables and definitely needed some sleep but decided to compromise.

"Just take me home to take a bath. No matter how deep in a coma she is in, if I walk into her room smelling like this she will surely wake up."

G and Sam smiled as part of the old Deeks was finally back.

"But then I am going to her. Even if I try to sleep at home, I won't be able because my mind will be on her. So I will just crash on a chair next to her bed. Please understand me, I need to be with her," he pleaded them.

Of course, G and Sam understood him. This was the first time since they met him that he looked so desperate, but even if they hoped for the best they also had to get prepare for the worst.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam and G escorted Deeks to his home, where he quickly took a shower and then headed for the hospital. He didn't speak a word during the ride, just kept thinking about what was awaiting him in that hospital room and most of all what would happen when Kensi woke up.

After they reached the hospital, they saw Kensi's doctor at the reception and asked him about the progress of her condition.

Callen had posed as her brother so the doctor had no reason not to inform him, as he was a family member.

"Your sister is still critical but stable. We are still keeping her in a coma and monitoring the swelling. We have been inflicting pain to her to check her reactions and reflexes and so far the results have been very positive."

Deeks though at the sound of "inflicting pain" was less than thrilled. She had been through enough, the last thing she needed right now is more pain. He thought the whole idea of keeping her in a coma was to help her relax and heal. Not torture her.

"Can we see her?" he managed to ask.

"Of course. Your mother insisted on moving her to a more private room. I'll have a nurse take you to her."

They took the elevator and reached the fourth floor. Deeks was staring at the floor lost in his own thoughts and fears.

They got off the elevator and the nurse pointed them to her room.

"It's room 413," she said.

G and Sam were the first one's to walk into the room. Deeks was left behind standing still at the entrance. He wanted to run to her but also run away from her at the same time. Finally, he took a deep breath and made a step forward.

The sight of Kensi made his heart stop. She was lying stiff on the bed, intubated with more tubes that he could count surrounding her. He couldn't bear even look her; it was so hard to witness her in this state.

"Guys, can you give me a minute alone with her?" his voice cracked, soft and quiet.

Of course, they understood his need to be with her so they left them and told him they would wait just outside.

Deeks picked up his gaze from the floor and looked at her again. He moved right next to her and reached out to touch her hand. He immediately regretted his action when he noticed the bruises on her wrists.

He removed a lock of hair from her face and revealed the large bruise on her forehead. He ran his fingers softly over the one below her eye, the one that he had caused. He was now examining every inch of her exposed hands and chest. Apart form the hickeys he had caused her he traced some bite marks as well. They were on her neck, her chest, and her hands. He made an effort to count them but as soon as he reached six, he stopped. Who knew how many more were hiding under that hospital gown. He couldn't blame anyone for this since it was all his doing.

He didn't remember though hurting her so badly. He didn't remember holding her down so rough. He didn't remember biting her so hard. Had he lost control somewhere along the way? Why didn't she try to stop him?

He grabbed a chair and moved it close to her bed. He sat down and gently held her hand really carefully avoiding contact with the bruised area.

"I think it's time for me to say all the things you hoped to hear. I am so sorry fern. I hope you know I never meant to hurt you. I would rather die than cause you any more pain. You are my partner, my friend...my life! I can't live without you but you will want to live away from me. So, I am doing you a favor and I quit as a liaison. Trust me it is for your own good. I won't lie to you by saying I'll call you. I will try to get as far away form you as possible since apparently I'm trouble. I always have been. Please understand me."

He kissed her hand and then whispered in her ear, "Love you fern," as he walked to the door he stopped and without turning his head to look at her he mumbled, "Always will."

He stormed out of the room passing by G and Sam without even looking at them.

"Deeks," G yelled at him, "where are you going?"

Deeks didn't look back if he did it would make it more difficult to stand by his choice.

Hetty was sitting in her office going through the last details of the successful mission. She knew G had taken Deeks to the hospital and expected him to camp there until Kensi wakes up. To her surprise, though she saw him walking in.

"IF you are here to do your paper work Mr. Deeks I suggest you leave right now."

Deeks sat on a chair and handed Hetty an envelope.

"What's this Mr. Deeks?"

"I think you know Hetty."

"I Know but I don't understand."

"I can't do this anymore Hetty, this was the last drop. The cost of this is too much and I am not willing to pay it any more."

"Is this because of Kensi?"

"Before I met her everything was simpler. I went in, did the job and got out. No second thoughts and no regrets. I can't keep putting her at risk, I work better alone."

"Can you live alone though?"

Deeks looked at Hetty. This was one question he couldn't answer.

"Please don't try to find me. I need some time to pick up the pieces."

"I had the impression Kensi always did that for you. Are you absolutely positive about your decision?"

"Yes, there is no turning back. Please explain this to the others."

"I will, but I am not quite sure they will understand and neither can I."

Deeks got up and went to his desk to gather some stuff of his. That's when he saw Vance leaving the building. He tried to control his anger but it was impossible. He approached him and without any hesitation punched him in the face. Several other agents gathered and tried to hold Deeks back but Vance ordered them to let him go and leave them alone.

"Are you sure you trust me to be alone with YOU?" Deeks angrily told him.

"I understand your hate Mr. Deeks but I don't regret any decision I made. Besides I knew you would find a way out of it."

"Kensi is lying in the hospital; there was no way out of it." Deeks shouted again.

"I know you wouldn't do it Mr. Deeks, that's why I ordered you to. I know you didn't do it and this stays with us. If our superiors find out you risked the outcome of this mission they might suspend you and agent Blye."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore," Deeks said as he picked up his box and left the building.

* * *

Two weeks had gone by and no one had heard of Deeks. They couldn't understand how he could abandon Kensi in this state. One of the nurses though told them that every night a different man would come and stay with Kensi for a couple of minutes and then leave. They were sure it was Deeks and that gave them hope that he would come around and return.

The swelling had disappeared, there were no more complications with her heart, and she could now breathe on her own. She had woken up from the coma but she was too tired and stoned from all the medicines and could barely speak a word.

The monitors indicated that she was still in a lot of pain from all the bruises in her body, her ribs and of course, the head wound.

She woke up that morning when a ray of sun made its way through the drapes and blinded her. For the first time in two weeks, she felt a bit like herself. All this time she could hear faded voices; she could feel the presence of people waking in and out of her room but had no strength to react.

Then she heard a soft voice asking her, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

'Deeks?" she mumbled.

"No, it's me G."

"Deeks?" she mumbled again.

"He is not here Kens. It's just me and Sam."

Kensi looked at them but her sight was still kinda of blurry, "hey guys."

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, kinda of sore and numb at the same time."

"Do you remember anything?" G asked.

"Of course I do, where is Deeks? Did he go out for a coffee?"

G and Sam exchanged looks not knowing how to break the news to her.

"My sight might be blurry but I know that look. Something's wrong. Oh my God is he ok?" she started panicking and tried to raise herself from the bed.

"Wow, just sit right there, Sam call the doctor," G tried to calm her down.

"I don't need a doctor I need to know where Deeks is."

G sat next to her on the bed and held her hand, "Deeks left. He needed some time alone."

"He left?" she said not believing a ears.

"He needed to clear his head. This past month had been really difficult for him."

Kensi looked the other way trying to hold back her tears. He had left her. He had abandoned her. The only person she wanted to see right now left her without any explanation. She was experiencing rejection for the second time.

Suddenly she found it hard to breath. G immediately called the doctor who informed them it was a panic attack and gave her some sedatives to help her sleep again.

They hated seeing her like this and not being able to help. Perhaps Deeks would visit her again that night and with a little luck, she would be awake.

Kensi woke up around 2am. The sedatives had worn off and she could feel once again the stabbing pain on her ribs. G and Sam had left and the dead silence the surrounded the room was depressing.

Deeks dressed this time as a janitor walked towards Kensi's room. Her door was open so he stepped in waiting to find her asleep. To his surprise, he faced her big eyes once again.

She looked at him and smiled relieved. "There you are."

Deeks didn't know what to do. He felt his legs go numb, his eyes focused only on her, his brain blank.

"Well don't just sit there, come on in get me that chocolate from that table. G forgot it and I've been dying to eat it."

And there she was. His Kensi was finally back. He smiled, handed her the chocolate and stroke her hair.

"Listen Kens," before he could finish the sentence Kensi pressed her finger on his lips.

"I know you quit but just listen to me. This was the hardest under cover case we ever worked on. Too much was asked of us but we made it through. We work better together and we heal better together. I can't do this without you. I can't do this without knowing things will never be the same again."

"The things I did to you kens..."

"You have saved me more times than you have hurt me. Do you want me to count how many times I was facing a gun before you came to my rescue? How many I would have died by now if you weren't my partner."

Deeks realized how hard it was to leave her, how empty his life would be without her. He kissed her forehead and said, "I am not going anywhere Fern. Someone has to keep you away from trouble."

G and Sam came visited Kensi the next morning only to find her happily sleeping in Deeks arms.

Hetty never gave in his resignation letter. She stored it in her drawer and waited for the storm to go by. It was only a matter of days before she would have her team back together again.

* * *

Ten days later she was discharged form the hospital and Deeks was there to pick her up. A she was packing her underwear she smiled and turned to Deeks.

"I have to tell you something otherwise I'm going to burst."

Deeks looked at her confused, "What?"

"When you kiss, you might wanna go easy on the tongue. You almost reached my tonsils back then."

Deeks was shocked. This was not the kind of remark he would expect form her.

He slowly approached her, placed his hand on her cheek and drew her close for a long sweet kiss.

Once it was over, he looked at her, smiled and said, "For your information this is how I really kiss."

Kensi laughed and raised her shoulders, "Nuh, not bad," she said as she picked up her bag and walked out.

Deeks touched his lips and smiled again. Everything was back to normal. This job had led him to Kensi and losing her was the worst cost he would have to pay. But once again, they made it through. They have learned not to hide away form the storm, but to dance in the rain.

THE END


End file.
